Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
