I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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