Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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