There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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