Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize