Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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