let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
