My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
