I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
