Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
