i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
