I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
