She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
