Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
