Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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