as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize