YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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