I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
