a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
