Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
