Heybabeimwearingurpanties
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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