my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize