HIV tests are more positive than that guy
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
