My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
