come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Randomize
