Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
