Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
