I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
