I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
