Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
