My nipple is on Facebook.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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