Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
