How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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