i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
