Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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