so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
