I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
it's like iHOP with fire
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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