Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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