i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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