Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Randomize
