i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
