No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
