addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
