She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
