You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
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