Kiss
Puke
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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