there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Congratulations! We have a period
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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