Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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