that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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