Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
