I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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