yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
