is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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