is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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