idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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