If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize